Day 3: Heart's desires........

Lately my heart's been feeling heavy. With every doubt that creeps in my mind to the paranoia of the future, I just can't help but feel that sometimes I really don't know if I'm good at what I'm trying to do.

I need to believe in myself more. I come from a humble background where bragging really gets you nowhere. I've never really been too proud of myself with any accomplishments. I think it's that part of me that keeps me grounded. At the same time, my mind sometimes becomes overwhelmed by doubt and I hate that. The moment that I feel I can release my full potential, I back down from the fear that I'm not good enough. But deep inside, I KNOW I'm good enough. I know I can do whatever I set my mind to.

Don't ever doubt yourself. No matter how much you want to, don't let it win you over. Because chances are, you will kill any potential for you to accomplish something amazing. What you exude is visible to people around you. Always remember that. If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. Even if you have to fake it, believe in yourself. And maybe someday, you really will.

Day 2: League of Legends

It's been a little over a year since I first started playing a little well known video game called "League of Legends". An ex-friend of mine introduced it to me initially, but my boyfriend was the one who got me to actually download and play it. It went from a simple video game that I recall quoting, "I give this a good 3 months before I get tired of it....." to a game I can see myself playing until the next big thing. But let's face it, League of Legends isn't going anywhere anytime soon. It set a completely new standard in what we now like to call "esports".

With over 7 million registered player names, League of Legends is now the most popular game in the WORLD! Seriously, go ask a kid on the street if they know what it is. Most likely they will. It's definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but it certainly is fun to play. Although not many will like the redundancy of the game's interface, the best part of LoL is the sheer amount of characters that are playable. There's always something to learn when it comes to this game and I think that's why I've been dedicated to it for as long as I have been.

The Meaning Behind The Wrist Bands
I collected these wrist bands at various League of Legends tournaments and from different people who work at the company. The pink and blue ones say "baylife" on them, which is a catchphrase from one of the pro teams, TSM. They gave these out at a finals event last year. Out of all of these though, I put the black and grey one on top because they are the most special to me. The grey one was given to me by one of the people working at the game's company (Riot Games) and was a special "vip" wristband where we could sit in the center of the stadium, near all the professional gamers and employers. It was one of the most fun video game events I had ever attended. The black one was given to me by the CEO's wife! She's a sweet lady who makes sure the fans are having fun and happy. At one of the events, it was really crowded and I needed to use the restroom. We were actually sitting near an area that was blocked off by the event people for the pro players to use to walk in and out of the viewing area. I asked her if I could go out that way but apparently, the event security were making sure that they only let people with black wristbands in and out. She was ultra busy that day, running around taking care of business, so I didn't want to intrude her by asking her to accompany in and out to use the restroom. But since she's the CEO's wife, she probably didn't need a wristband and just gave me hers! It was our little secret. I was basically able to go in and out of the area, as if I was part of the team or something lol. So yes, the black one does have quite some sentimental value to it.

Being involved in the League of Legends esports scene to me, is like an elite hobby that not all my friends know about or care about. I've always envied people who were really engrossed in sports or dancing or some kind of hobby that harbors a massive community of enthusiasts. Although I enjoy watching some sports and even dancing, I'm not completely submerged into the scene. With LoL, I am. And that makes me feel like I'm part of something.

Day 1: The Holographic Universe

I've been on a strong Astronomy kick as of late. It probably has to do with the fact that I've been taking an Astronomy class this quarter--on Saturday mornings no less.

I initially hated the idea of taking a class on Saturday but it's actually not so bad. The Astronomy class is really interesting and even though it's an extensive amount of information jam packed into 11 weeks, I find the subject fascinating. I can't say the same for the actual class though. My professor is pretty easy going and seems knowledgeable enough, but he's not very engaging when it comes to teaching the subject. Honestly, I've learned more just by reading the required textbook, watching youtube videos, and reading articles than I have from sitting in that class. Nonetheless, it's a nice break away from my usual classes.

At the end of our quarter we're doing a project on a topic of our choice. I chose to do mine on different galaxies and their impact in space over time. For example, our closest galaxy, the Andromeda Galaxy will collide with our Milky Way in some odd billion years. We have nothing to worry about it in our lifetime but it's still interesting to know what that would be like.

I picked up a book by well known physicist Michio Kaku that I'll probably reference heavily on my project. I also got this book off Amazon, "The Holographic Universe" as a side read. I've actually heard a lot about this book and came across it several times online but kind of brushed it to the side because it wasn't really in my 'field' of interest. Turns out it has always been in my field of interest! I'm halfway through the book and it's an interesting read so far but it's definitely meant to be read with an open mind. The book delves into things outside of practical sciences and goes into the stuff that most scientists wouldn't dare try to bring up as 'factual' in any way. Everything from psychic powers and parallel universes. But it's not an all bullshit book. It lays the ideas and the foundation of these "paranormal" ideas that we all know and many mock of. Some things come backed up with some scientific explanations that get you thinking. It's a really interesting read for anyone who is remotely into how our seemingly endless universe correlates with the microscopic life we witness day to day.

Mechanical Glow

Left my soul in San Francisco...